Dear Whoever
by creekblues
Summary: It's the year 1989, and Dipper Pines has a lot to learn about life and death. After attempting suicide he's sent to a psychiatric hospital in Gravity Falls, Oregon, where he meets a strange young man who makes his heart burst, and he swears he's magic.


A/N: Let's get this straight, I don't own Gravity Falls.

It seemed as if the darkness in his bedroom combined too much with the darkness in his mind. Slowly he raised himself from his bed, and carefully he walked with the grace of an old man, damned with arthritis. There's a mirror across his room, and gazes into it with a sick sense of dread, the sadness sticking to his insides like glue. There's bags under his eyes and he can't remember the last time he's woken up and felt okay. It's been a few years, at least. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 15. Middle school was already hard enough as it was, and high school broke him.

Music is playing downstairs, and he cringes as his head begins to draw out deep thumps at the sound. He puts on sunglasses as the light hurts his eyes; he's become so used to confining himself to his room. There's nobody home at this time of day anyway, so there's no one here to scold him for being a hermit. Like he could ever break free from that. And anyway, it's half past noon. His sister is probably out with friends doing god knows what, and his parents are at work. It's Saturday, and his shift at the local library doesn't start until 4.

Not that it mattered.

As of now, none of it mattered.

He's thought about this with a clear and rational state of mind. There's just no other way out, no other way to perceive things.

He goes downstairs, to find that he can hardly walk straight. And suddenly his vision is blurred and breaking down and it takes him a minute to realize he was crying, that he was taking hollowed out breaths as a means to control himself.

He sees every fucking moment he's been patronized and beaten at school, he sees his sister crying after she comes home with bruises on her arms after going out to see her boyfriend. He sees the first time Jonas Moschovitz, the only friend he ever had, turns over his wrist to reveal the scars he'd kept as secrets for years. It seemed to be an endless cycle of life, break and beat the weak or unworthy. He wonders what he's done to be deemed so lowly in the shadows of God's graces, and he shudders as an idea crosses his mind, a darker path to forget, and thinks to numb himself in hope to be rid of the pain.

Everything and everyone was broken, nothing was beautiful and there was no stopping the hurt that plagued itself to his heart. Perhaps, if he tried harder, he could have fixed things. He wouldn't be in the his position of total vulnerability, and he wouldn't feel so damned lost.

He finds the key to his parents "medicine" cabinet in a drawer somewhere, and it's so incredibly funny and yet oddly terrifying because he can't seem to remember doping himself up on pain meds before taking several swigs of scotch.

But he must have, he must have because everything fades to black and he wakes up to white walls and somebody sticking a tube down his throat. There's doctors surrounding him and there's so much talking, talking, talking, and everything is spinning and he believes he's in Hell. Suddenly he's throwing up every single pill he took, which was in fact the two bottles worth, and he thinks he sees blood and he freaks out a bit before realizing the position he was in. In a way, he was grateful that his life had not been cut so short. Another part of him wishes he hadn't failed.

Just another disappointment, another failure. What will his family think of his most recent escapade? He doesn't want to think about it, wants to forget, but the thought of downing alcohol makes him sick.

He's waiting for the fire and brimstone, and he thinks he sees Satan rising from the ashes because there's a man on the other side of the room who looks like he's in charge, who he's positive he'll see again. He doesn't like it, he wants to run, to rip the IV from his body and tread out of the hospital. But he knows in the back of his mind, and with everything in his heart, that that is not what happens next.

On October 29th, 1989, he signs away his freedom.


End file.
